i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
