I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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