He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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