I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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