Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
