I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
