My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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