If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
