there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
