Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
