We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
