I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
