oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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