so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
