Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
