Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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