I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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