i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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