i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
