There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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