The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
