thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
