I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
