dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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