yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this will be a night to untag.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
