My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
