Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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