are you still at the devil's house?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
