they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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