In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
ttyl tear gas
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
