her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
