how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
