9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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