Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
