when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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