They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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