Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to have your abortion
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
