What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
