Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
