Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
