Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
