so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Less talking, more tequila
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
