normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
