man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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