is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
