Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love having hate sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
