LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
