just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
