no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
