i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
