im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
